Grinning Grimace
by Uzumaki Style
Summary: SasuNaru. Naruto is physically and mentally anguished by a gruesome event and is suffering purposeful sleep deprivation. Sasuke grows concerned as Naruto struggles to remain cheery.
1. Splitting Smile

**I in no way own Naruto. **

**Warning-It will be a very long time before this is updated, although the next chapter has been started. **

Splitting Smile

It was cold, clotted and viscid. It tasted rusty and metallic. He tried spitting it out, but the taste persisted. He could feel it drying, stiffening his pristine clothes. He tried to breathe, to be calm, but it was clogging his nose and sliding down his throat. He tried to scream, but his voice was overwhelmed by the outrageous cries. A crowd of faceless villagers surrounded him, each holding a cackling torch, screaming and gesturing angrily. Suddenly, his vision was narrowed to the slits of a wooden mask. The stale musk of the mask mingled with his own erratic breath. Prickly splinters stabbed his pale porcelain skin.

A rock struck his shoulder. A tickling pain rolled down his arm. Another rock ricocheted off the wooden mask. He remained motionless as the villagers jeered. He received every stinging blow numbly. A particularly angry gray stone struck the center of his mask. He choked as the mask filled with a foul coppery stench. He began clawing at the edges, shredding his fingernails to the quick. Desperate, he ripped his skin and tore his hair. The mask finally split in half as he wrenched his head back and forth.

He fell, exhausted, to his knees, gasping for breath. The broken mask clattered to his lap. Gently, he pressed both halves together, examining the strangely familiar face. It was smooth and well crafted. The mouth was wide and stretched into a harsh unnatural smile. The eyes were hollow and blank. The deformed face dissolved in his hands, leaving behind warm, sticky, glossy, red blood.

Sasuke flailed his arms and kicked his legs violently in the air. He jerked from side to side and toppled to the floor. Rubbing the back of his head, Sasuke moaned tiredly, opening one coal colored eye to scan his darkened room. The moon shone brightly through his window, illuminating the white sheets still tangled around his waist and the beads of sweat glistening on his forehead. Wearily, he untangled himself and hobbled back into bed. He groped for his lamp, and winced as the light flooded his room. For a moment he let his eyes adjust, and then looked to the clock on his dresser. It read 4:00 AM exactly. Feeling sick, Sasuke massaged his temples. Pinching the bridge of his nose he fell back onto the bed. He fought back waves of nausea as he suppressed the memories of his nightmare.

The rising sun bade good morning to bleary blue eyes. Naruto cursed as a scintillate string of light flickered through his flimsy curtains. The sun, affronted, obstinately rose higher to flood his small apartment with wry light. He flung his blanket to the floor as he stumbled uneasily from his threadbare armchair. He grimaced as a metallic odor wafted from his bedroom. Entering the modest room he contritely eyed the still-made bed and rank laundry hamper. Wearily, he rubbed his aching eyes. Vicious memories cavorted through his mind. He shuddered.

Grabbing a fresh set of clothes, Naruto hurried out of the room, slamming the door. Safe in his plain tiled bathroom, he stripped and stepped into the shower. Too anxious to wait for the water to warm, he cursed his way through a cascade of icy water. He relaxed as the water warmed, and stayed in a bit too long. His cheeks were flushed, and his hands had begun to prune, but he sighed contentedly, drying off with a stark white towel.

Tentatively, Naruto pulled on his clothes, yelping in surprise as a delicate twinge of pain pricked his side. Ignoring the pain, he carefully slid on his black undershirt and baggy orange pants. Staring into the cracked and spotted mirror, he examined his fatigued features. His sleepless eyes were bloodshot and underlined by severe, dark circles. His ordinarily tan skin was oily and pale. If he was cheerful enough though, he thought, no one would notice his sickly appearance. He forced his lips into an earsplitting grin with a lamented sigh, but whimpered when the pain in his side erupted.

Sasuke jumped as a knock on the door interrupted his morning meditation. Muttering under his breath he stood slowly and walked to the door. Recognizing Kakashi's chakra outside, he wondered briefly whether he should ignore him or not. Resigning himself, he opened the door with a roll of his dark eyes. Predictably, Kakashi's nose was buried in a dirty book.

"Yo." Kakashi said, without glancing up from _Come, Come Paradise_. Sasuke nearly groaned.

"What do you want?" He half growled.

"As irritable as ever I see." Kakashi chuckled. He closed his book, and tucked it neatly into his vest. "You and Naruto have been assigned a delivery mission."

"Just Naruto and I?"

"Yes. Due to Sakura's medical talent-"  
Sasuke snorted.

"-Tsunade requested she train at the hospital. You and Naruto shall go alone."

Sasuke withheld a curse. "To where?" he asked quietly.

"To the watch tower bordering fire country. It will take approximately one week to travel there and back. You leave this afternoon."

Sasuke felt a rush of exasperation. "What will we be delivering?"

"Medical supplies. Please inform Naruto, I have, uh, business to attend to." Kakashi pulled his book back out and began reading.

Sasuke slammed the door. "Damn pervert." He murmured, pulling on his sandals.

"Fuck…" Sasuke cussed realizing he didn't know where Naruto lived, "Kakashi!" he yelled wrenching open the door.

Naruto collapsed on the couch, uncharacteristically exhausted from his morning workout. He smothered a yawn, forcing his eyes to stay open. His body begged for sleep. His eyes itched and watered. His muscles burned. His mind drifted. He felt himself sinking.

"Filthy Demon!"

"Monster!"

"Damn fox!"

Naruto walked past the malicious crowd of villagers, head down, vision blurring.

"Idiot." A familiar cold voice drawled.

"Sasuke?" Naruto looked up, hopefully. Sasuke's black eyes regarded him with disgust.

"Sasuke, I-" Naruto wheezed as Sasuke's knee connected sharply with his stomach, knocking him to the ground.

"S-Sasuke, stop..." he whispered between coughs. Sasuke spit on him. "Weakling." he growled, towering over Naruto.

He laid his foot on Naruto's cheek and ground his heel against it. "Stop it!" Naruto screamed, trying to pull Sasuke's foot away from his awkward position.

"Sasuke!" Naruto cried, squirming desperately.

"You are a monster." Sasuke spat, twisting his foot with each word.

Blood slowly seeped into Naruto's eyes, turning the world red before they shut. Sasuke laughed, kicking him hard in the stomach as the world around them faded.

"No!" Naruto screamed awakening from the horrible dream. 'W-what the hell?' He shuddered, drawing his legs to his chest and lay with his arms wrapped around his stomach. His cheek was throbbing. Woozily he got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He examined his face in the bathroom mirror.

He ran a shaky hand over the dark bruise forming on his cheek. "It was just a dream." He reminded himself. "Sasuke is not that cruel."Naruto took a deep calming breath, ignoring the pain in his side. He trudged to the kitchen, gratefully finding an ice pack in the freezer.

Sasuke slithered through the crowded Konoha streets. Kakashi had disappeared. "Damn pervert" he growled, "he did this on purpose." He accidentally elbowed a man in the stomach causing him to spill the mound of teetering paper he'd been balancing. "Sorry" Sasuke grunted, bending down to gather the school papers.

"Oh, good afternoon Sasuke" Iruka smiled taking the papers.

"Iruka!" Sasuke half yelled "can you tell me where Naruto lives?"

Iruka stared at him.

Feeling embarrassed Sasuke mumbled "It's for a mission."

"He lives just south of the school."

Sasuke grunted his thanks.

"Tell him I said hello!" Iruka yelled after him.

Naruto walked unsteadily back to the bathroom and peeled off his sweat-soaked shirt. An angry array of colors splotched his chest. Gingerly, Naruto prodded his side. He felt a sizeable lump, guessing it was a broken rib. The rest were either cracked or bruised. He tore his shirt in half and bound it tight around his chest. Feeling sick, Naruto laid the ice pack against his swollen cheek. As he leaned against the wall he sensed someone's chakra outside.

Cursing his luck, Naruto pulled on his oversized jacket. He threw his shirt into the hamper, gagging at the stench, and hobbled to the door. He waited for a knock, forced his lips into a strenuous smile, and flung open the door.

"Sasuke? What are you doing here?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Mission." He grunted, "not only do I have to play messenger boy, but I also spent half a fucking hour trekking through the Konoha slums to find your damned apartment."

"S-sorry." Naruto mumbled, embarrassed. "So, uh, what's the message?"

"We are-What did you do to your face?" Sasuke pointed to the ice pack.

"Oh, uh," Naruto panicked, "The usual, you know, being clumsy and all." He faked a laugh, rubbing the back of his head lamely. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, idiot."

Naruto chuckled, eyeing the floor

"Yeah, so about the mission?" he asked after an awkward pause.

Sasuke sneered, "We are delivering medical supplies to Fire Country."

"Aw, damn it!" Naruto whined loudly. "That'll take at least a week!"

Sasuke nodded. Toeing off his sandals, he followed Naruto inside.

Sasuke glanced around. The tiny apartment was shabby, but well kempt. The faded wall paper clung to the wall in tattered strips. The carpet, although vacuumed, was covered in yellow, gray, and brown stains. A ratty couch stood in the living room, accompanied by an old beaten arm chair. A half eaten package of Ramen rested on a rickety, polished coffee table. Sasuke sat down on the couch. Naruto had disappeared into the kitchen. There was not a single picture or decoration adorning the apartment, save for a calendar hung on the wall.

Curious, Sasuke thumbed through the calendar. Little notes were scrawled on the dates, such as "Beat Sasuke today," and, "Buy Ramen". His, Kakashi's, and Sakura's birthdays were all marked in red. Sasuke frowned. Strangely, Naruto's birthday wasn't marked. Naruto tapped his shoulder. Sasuke turned, quickly.

"Naruto, why isn't-"

Naruto shoved a hot cup of tea into his hands, cutting him off.

"Thank you," Sasuke mumbled, staring at him. He'd taken off the ice pack, revealing a dark, generous bruise on his cheek.

"What the hell did you do?" Sasuke asked. Without thinking he brushed his hand against Naruto's cheek.

"Nothing!" Naruto snapped, jerking away from Sasuke. The sudden movement caused his side to protest. Intense, nauseating pain jolted through his body. Nearly crying out Naruto grimaced.

"It's nothing, Sasuke." He said shakily, half limping to his room.

Taken aback Sasuke followed him silently, sipping his tea. Naruto began stuffing a weeks worth of clothes into a small travel bag.

"When do we leave?" Naruto asked, breaking the silence.

"This afternoon."

"Great." He feigned excitement. Sasuke leaned against the wall, frowning. He sniffed the air. "What's that smell?" he asked, pinching his nose.

Naruto didn't answer; he'd gone to the bathroom to pack his toothbrush.

Sasuke walked toward the familiar metallic scent. Holding his breath, he lifted the hamper lid. Sasuke's eyes widened, horrified. Blood caked Naurto's clothes. His usually vibrant orange jacket was covered in dry reddish-brown blood.

"What are you doing?" Naruto snapped, nervously.

"Whose blood is this?" Sasuke demanded, jerking the bloodied jacket from the hamper.

"No ones."

"Naruto!"

"It was an accident." Naruto whispered

_ "It was an accident, I'm sorry." Naruto apologized, backing away from the huge man he'd accidentally bumped into in the dark alley. _

"_Don't touch me you filthy, disgusting demon." He spat in a foul, raspy voice. His black eyes regarded Naruto with disgust. _

"_It was an accident." He muttered, turning quickly. A larger man blocked his way. The man shoved him to the ground. _

"_Monster." The black-eyed man spat._

"What happened?" Sasuke asked, grabbing Naruto's shoulder.

_ Naruto stood, carefully, brushing the dirt off his pants. _

"_Stay where you belong." The man hissed, back handing him. Naruto stumbled to the ground. The men laughed. _

"_Stop." Naruto yelled, as the larger man grabbed a fist full of hair. He yanked Naruto to his feet._

"_I said sto-"_

_ The black-eyed man slapped him. _

"_Shut up, demon."_

_ Enraged, Naruto lunged, clawing the air. He managed to gash the man's cheek before the larger man bent his arms painfully behind his back. _

"_You little bitch!" The black-eyed man screamed, punching his stomach._

"Nothing!" Naruto yelled, shoving Sasuke away.

_ Naruto wheezed, as the black-eyed man pummeled his stomach. _

"_I am not a demon." He rasped between blows. _

_The black-eyed man laughed, drawing a silvery, glittering object from his vest. _

"_You are a demon." He cackled, "A monster. You are a foul, vial, disgusting creature." _

_ A glaring blade caught Naruto's gaze. The black-eyed man laughed. Naruto screamed as a savage pain spilt his stomach open. His eyes lolled to the back of his head and his mouth hung open. He writhed as the blade wormed deeper into his abdomen. The black-eyed man cackled, jerking the dagger out with a twist. Naruto fell limp. The men threw him to the ground. The black-eyed man kicked his ribs and the larger man ground his foot against his cheek._

Sasuke glowered at him. "I am trying to help you."

_ A reverberating 'crack' spilt the air as the black-eyed man crushed one of his ribs. _

"_I'll kill them." A hungry voice growled. Naruto's vision reddened._

"_No." he whispered. A violent, swirling crimson chakra erupted around him, hurtling both men backwards. Thick red ribbons of chakra laced his torn, bleeding stomach. His flesh hissed as the wound seared shut. His teeth and nails elongated. His wide, diamond-slit eyes focused on the two cowering men. He smiled through a pair of jagged, protruding fangs. _

"I do not need the help of a traitorous bastard like you Uchiha!" Naruto yelled.

_ Naruto reeked of blood. It was cold and sticky. It was in his mouth, his nose, and matted in his hair. It was tightening his skin, like drying paint. He felt cold congealed clumps sliding down his skin. He ran to the bathroom, ripped off his blood-soaked clothes and jumped into the shower. He scratched and scrubbed his blood-stained skin raw. He didn't stop until the soap burned his tender skin so badly he trembled. _

"You idiot." Sasuke spat, throwing the bloody jacket at him. He stormed out, purposefully bumping Naruto's shoulder as he passed.

"Sorry." He mumbled, sliding down the wall.

Sasuke slammed the door.

"It was an accident."

_ Stumbling from the shower, Naruto wiped the foggy mirror. His skin was grated and red. His lips were stretched into a harsh unnatural smile. His eyes were hollow, and blank. He was tired. His eyes slid shut._

_ Sick images danced before his minds eye; a sliver knife gutting the belly of a black-eyed man; a merciless demon ripping the flesh of his fallen prey; a glossy, black, dismembered eye. Uprising vomit burned his throat and nostrils. He bent over the porcelain sink, quivering. He puked up blood, hair and pallid shreds of skin. A hysterical anguish overwhelmed him physically, mentally, and emotionally. His resilient smile faltered. He broke. His mask had split in half. He kneeled over the bathroom sink and cried._

(A/N)- I am very pleased with this chapter. Productive criticism is encouraged, as well as a wee bit of praise   
Many thanks to my amazing beta Kade!


	2. Fierce Frailty

Fierce Frailty

Sasuke wadded the folded clothes into his travel bag.

"Damn Naruto." He grabbed his shoes, socks and sleeping bag and threw them onto the bed.

"Idiot," He snapped the bag shut and flung it over his shoulder, accidentally knocking his wobbly nightstand "Stupid, blithering, fool."

It shuddered back and forth. As Sasuke grabbed the nightstand, a dusty lamp toppled over, splattering the floor with glass and an old picture frame fell facedown with a sharp 'crack'.

"God damn Naruto!"

He jerked, wrapping the hem of his shirt around his hand. Sasuke realized he'd clumsily sliced the palm of his hand on the blade of the kunai. As blood seeped through his shirt, he gingerly stepped over the lamp shards to the bathroom.

"Moron," he murmured in the large echoing room. He began bandaging his hand absentmindedly, grabbing a bottle of antibiotics in case of an infection. He slid off his shirt and threw it to the floor, staring guiltily at the blood stain.

"I was trying to help," he frowned.

Deciding to abandon the kunai, Sasuke swept the lamp into a neat pile. He knelt to the floor, sweeping the glass into the trash, and picked up the picture frame.

Sasuke smirked, momentarily forgetting his anger. It was a birthday gift from Naruto. 1The frame was hand painted a tacky orange color, decorated with swirling blue Konoha symbols. The picture was of himself and Naruto, both covered in sticky pink icing. Naruto had playfully flicked cake at Sasuke for refusing to smile. As Naruto had cackled, Sasuke had shoved a fistful of icing into his face. Kakashi had taken the picture as Naruto, grinning mischievously, had hooked his arm around Sasuke's neck and squished a handful of cake against his cheek. However, the glass had cracked straight through Naruto's face, distorting his brilliant smile.

"Whatever," Sasuke growled, setting the picture back on the night stand. It slumped pathetically to one side. He sighed, tugging on a clean shirt, grabbed his bag and wiggled on his sandals. As he closed the door, he heard the picture frame clatter to the ground and break. Tetchily rolling his eyes, he stomped back inside and snatched up the picture. In a huff, he headed toward the Konoha gates.

Naruto pressed his swollen cheek against the cool gate bars. A heavy afternoon sun hung overhead, flushing his cheeks and burning his sallow skin. He rubbed his raw, sleep deprived eyes. 1Tiredly, he sank to the ground and rested his head between his knees.

A breath of wind whispered hotly to a gnarled oak tree, tousling the stiff branches. Naruto yawned as waist-high strands of grass tickled the back of his neck, bending in the lazy breeze. His eyelids slid shut and a string of bright red chakra spilled from his stomach, twisting around his ribs. The baleful caw of a crow startled him awake and the chakra dissipated.

Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets, kicking a glittery gray rock along the dirt trail. He gnawed his bottom lip and tousled his hair as he approached the gates. Although he would never admit it, he was worried about Naruto, but his anger was far more powerful.

"Why should I care?" He muttered to the ground, approaching the gate as a sable crow fluttered overhead.

Naruto stood, smiling drowsily. Sasuke glowered as Naruto heaved his own backpack over his shoulder and waved.

"He doesn't…" Sasuke thought, throwing a sack of supplies at his feet and sauntering indifferently ahead.

Naruto's smile wilted as his gaze fell from Sasuke's back to the bulky bag. He groaned inwardly, knowing the weight of both bags would cause him unremitting pain.

He trailed behind all day as they traveled through the sunlit treetops, silently struggling to support the burden. The fight became harder as his strength dwindled, and the bags seemed to weigh more with every step; self-destructive determination forbid him to concede until sweat slimed his face and his eyes burned for sleep. Almost out of pity, a tree branch snapped suddenly under his foot. He toppled from the trees to the ground, landing awkwardly on his back with a sharp cry as he felt another rib fracture. Determined not to let Sasuke see his pain, he forced a goofy chuckle from his throat.

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered, towering over him. Naruto flinched as Sasuke offered him a hand up.

"What happened to your palm?" He asked softly, touching the coarse white gauze.

"Nothing," snapped Sasuke.

Naruto frowned at him. Sasuke caught his gaze with a satisfied sneer, "it was an accident," he mocked. Naruto stared at him then the ground in disbelief. He slapped the hand away, an expression of shame and resentment shadowing his face, his ardent blue eyes roaming the dirt for a distraction. Scoffing, Sasuke snatched Naruto's bags and slung them over his shoulder.

"Give them back," Naruto hissed, staggering proudly to his feet.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Fuck you, Sasuke, I can do it."

"No, you can't. You're too weak." He sneered, built up anger and frustration shattering like glass over his head. The words dribbled from his lips before he could stop them. "You're nothing but a burden to me and the village. Weakling, always in the way, acting stupidly optimistic and spewing hopeless dreams of becoming Hokage that you know will never happen." Naruto had fallen very still and silent. He raised his head slowly to look into Sasuke's stormy black eyes.

They glared at each other, a hot surge of wind stirring the dust and rustling the trees. Sasuke immediately regretted his words, but obstinate Uchiha pride would never allow him to apologize or even act remorseful. As he watched Naruto became unrecognizable. His lips curled nastily, anger shook his body, and his brilliant eyes dulled. Ugly, unbridled hatred deranged his face and surly sorrow flooded his eyes.

Sasuke's words stung more than every odious name the villagers had thrown at him; burned worse than the knife that had been shoved and twisted into his stomach; hurt because it was Sasuke, and he was right. He hated his best friend for being so easily accepted by the village, hated him for always being praised while he himself was ridiculed. He hated and wanted to hurt him. An uncontrollable rage pulsed through his heart. He wanted to hurt Sasuke as badly as Sasuke had hurt him, kill him like he had killed the two men.

"I hate you!" Naruto screamed, hurtling himself toward Sasuke, a shuriken gripped so tightly between his fingers it was drawing blood. Sasuke stood, wide-eyed, unable to react as the edge was shoved fiercely into his leg. The pain jerked him back to his senses, and he grabbed Naruto's wild fist, twisting it sharply behind his back. Naruto froze, as a memory of the black-eyed man flashed through his mind. A cold panic seized him, jolting through his veins and down his spine, and he fought to get away from the men.

"Stop" Sasuke hissed, wrapping his other arm around Naruto to restrain him.

"You're hurting me!" he howled, half frightened and half pained by Sasuke's tight grip around his ribs. Naruto kicked and struggled helplessly, writhing so violently that he wrenched his shoulder from the socket. A nauseating pop echoed around the forest. Sasuke went rigid. Naruto stilled, a high pitched ringing deafened his ears. His arm slid from Sasuke's grip and hung loosely by his side. He slumped against Sasuke, thick white haze clouding his vision. Sasuke panted shakily as he supported Naruto's limp weight.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasuke breathed, letting him fall to his knees. Naruto sat motionless, wide-eyed and open mouthed. For a long time their excited breath was the only audible noise.

"I think," Sasuke said softly "we should set up camp." He glanced along the horizon as he grabbed all four bags and walked soundlessly into the woods.

The early evening sun still hung orange and red in the faded blue sky.

"I…I wanted to kill Sasuke." Naruto rasped, anxiety squeezing his throat, and he choked. His empty stomach heaved, and he clamped a cold hand over his mouth. A violent shudder wracked his body as he retched again, anger churning his stomach.

"What...the fuck is wrong with me?" He screamed, slamming his fist to the ground, his breath shallow and uneven. "Why?" He thought dazedly "Why did I attack him?

Oh god, why? Please help me. Stop me. I don't understand. What is wrong with me?" He ripped franticly, convulsively, at the damp grass, trembling because he knew the answer.

"I'm a murderer" "a demon!" His stomach rolled again, trying to purge of the poisonous panic.

Yellow, washed-out moonlight spilled through the thick foliage and onto Naruto's slick face. Startled, he stared up at the sallow moon as it was swallowed by heavy sable clouds and spit out again to flicker stalwartly in the sky. He gulped down the cool night air. A sudden calm trickled down his back like warm water, and he wiped his mouth and cheeks on his sleeve, without realizing he'd been crying. Numb to his broken ribs and dislocated shoulder, he stood and walked toward the scintilla of orange firelight in the distance.

A/N: I'm not so happy with this fic anymore. I will continue but it will still be a very long time before it is updated. I've taken several classes and I don't feel this writing is up to par, but it's not horrible considering it was written nearly a year ago. I'm open to ideas at this point. I'm so grateful for the reviews and even criticism!


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